The whole thing is just so overwhelming. I can't wait too long before contacting a lawyer...i have to respond to his complaint for divorce within 35 days of being served. My original plan was to call a lawyer today to get an appointment. But, i just don't think that i can do that...not today anyway. I just feel terrible. And i wish it would stop.
c1t - I would definitely take a look at that book you are referring to. You can email me at lmdi99@hotmail.com. Thank you.
I don't know what the right thing to do anymore is. I feel like nothing i do will help. Talking with my parents this weekend was good b/c i think they now understand how i am feeling (i didn't tell them that i got the papers though). But, i keep having these doubts about everything he says, and everything he has said. I feel like everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. And if i think that, then how can i even consider getting back with him. Like yesterday, he called me on his way home from the airport and i asked him where he was...he said he was on the Parkway. Then he said, if you want to wait like 15 or 20 minutes and then leave to bring back the cats, i'll meet you and help you bring them in. I guess he misunderstood me b/c i was already on my way to our house. When i got there, he was there already. So, there was really no way he could have been on the Parkway when he called me. So, i don't know why he would have lied about that...makes no sense. He did say, when i got to the house, that he didn't think i wanted to see all of the open house stuff (the realtor, the people there, etc). So, maybe he was trying to protect me. But, still, there was no way he could have been where he said he was. And, last Monday night, he called me at 11:30 pm. I asked him what he did all day and he said he had been doing stuff around the house in preparation for the open house (like painting and spackling, etc. - which i don't understand b/c he had originally been looking to hire someone to do that). Anyway, yesterday when i was at the house i noticed that there were some things that he should have attended to had he been doing the work he said he was doing that day. So, he lied again. My question is why? I know it shouldn't matter and that i will never know the answer. But, i keep thinking that if he can lie to me about something so minor, then he can lie about anything, and i believe him. My parents were saying all kinds of things as well, things that he has said over the past few years that just seem so out of character for the person i thought he was. And i just don't who the real one is...the one i knew for 8 years, or this one that i've known for the past 2+.
I don't know if his behavior and the lying is unique to him. It seems, when i read these boards, that the behaviors of the WAH's are all so similar. And i do take some comfort in that (not that i want anyone else to go through this, but it certainly makes me feel less alone and makes me feel like perhaps he isn't as horrible as people portray him to be...that he is just caught up in something). Anyway, i know this post is all over the place. I just feel so discouraged about the whole thing. And sometimes i feel stupid for actually believing him. Lying is one thing, but faking concern and love is another. But, do they go hand in hand? I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but this whole situation makes no sense to me.
