Thank you guys so much for your support. It means the world to me...i don't know what i would do without you all. These boards have truly been a godsend.
I got the papers on Friday...they were delivered by messenger. Wow, reading them, i felt like i was hit by a ton of bricks. It was quite surreal. I am not looking forward to the next few days. Monday i will call a lawyer and meet with him as soon as possible. I mean, the things my H wrote were horrible. But, there were some things that just were completely wrong...like that we had separated in 2003...it was 2004. So, i clearly will not sign the papers as they are written. I just never knew my H hated me so much. Kind of an eye-opener. And stupid me, still loves him and makes all kinds of excuses for him. Unbelievable!
My parents came up last night. We sat up and talked until almost 1am...i told them a lot about how i have been feeling. It was kind of good to get it off my chest...i talked about all of you guys too! I didn't tell them that i got the papers. I knew they would want to read them, and i didn't want them to. For 2 reasons: i knew it would hurt them, and i was trying to protect my H...why do i keep doing that? I try not to think about what the papers say, but its hard. I can't believe my H would even tell me not to obsess over them. What? Ummm, okay. God,what is wrong with him?
Went apartment hunting today...saw 3. All will accept my cat, thankfully. But, they were a little too expensive. I can't decide if it would be better for me to be in an apartment complex or a multi-family house. I imagine a complex would give me an opportunity to meet more people. But, i think you get more in a house. So, i don't know what to do. I was very discouraged. The nicest place was also the most expensive. I can't even believe i have to do this. I don't know what the hell i am even supposed to look for. I hate to say it, but i've been spoiled. And this is all new to me. And, it sucks!
Thanks again guys...reading your posts made me cry, but in a good way. Because it feels really good to have people who don't know me, but really know more about me than others, be there for me in my time of need. And, if nothing else, this experience has restored my faith in the human race, b/c of everybody here and their selflessness. I am eternally grateful to all of you.
Flutter...i will definitely send you an email. Next weekend could work. I do think Teterboro is in Bergen County. But, we can work out the specifics.
