Hi lmdi. I know , it is so difficult to believe that these WASs can just one day up and become someone else. And it leaves us questioning everything we thought we always knew. The ways in which they act just SCREAM that something is really wrong with them. Not necessarily forever, but for right now anyway, and for an indefinite period of time. Meanwhile we are stuck here worrying about when. It is not fair, you are absolutely right. But one thing that i try to do that helps me get through is not to dwell on those kinds of thoughts. They are true and real, yes, but there are other ways to look at it that hurt less. For me, I try to focus on what his pain is, b/c when I think of it as a personal thing, which I do at times but usually not for long, it just hurts too too much. I try to remember that the H I knew wouldn't treat me this way. And beyond not wanting to be with us - perhaps if it were that cut and dry, with them being very clear and open and honest, rather than hot and cold, lying, disrespectful, that might be easier to swallow. But the truth is, that our Hs are not acting like normal, well adjusted people who maybe just fell out of love. They clearly do not know WHAT is going on, and drag us along for their confused ride. Which is why I focus on that, because to think that my H is OK would mean he is just cruel, and that thought would hurt too badly. Though this is not what we planned, this is what we got, and i agree with Hope's post - butterflies. Perhaps when we as LBSs can truly focus on our own growth and positive change, and let our WASs FINALLY start worrying about their own issues, that is when they might start to change too. Perhaps. God there is that detachment thing again!! So much easier said than done. As for meeting up, we don't have to meet in Hudson County if you don't want, Bergen county is fine with me. I actually work in Bergen county (at least I THINK it is Bergen!! LOL) I work in Teterboro. Send me an email - maryellen1425@yahoo.com and maybe we can set something up for next weekend. Could be fun! Hang in there, it will get easier, just like it always does after it gets worse!!!
