Thank you c1t- I have tried to remind myself of that. But, i also have to prepare myself for the reality of what is happening. My H has been taking steps to end our M: first, our settlement agreement, then putting the house on the market, now filing for D. There is very little room left. But, i can't change it, not on my own at least. My H has the power to fix this, if he really wanted to. I will continue to have some hope, but i also know that i need to be prepared.
Something else happened last night that bothered me. I was at my house, checking on our cats, and something made me look in my H's dresser, in a drawer where he kept all of the cards i have ever given him. For some reason, i felt like they weren't there anymore. So, i looked. And i was right - they were gone. And it upset me so much. Of course i attached my own negative meaning to it. But, i had to remind myself - do i have every card he has given me in a drawer? No, i don't. So, maybe it was just too painful for him to see them everytime he opened his drawer and he has put them someplace else. I hope so. I hope he didn't throw them out. That would just kill me.
