Hi again I also want to point out that a D is technically just papers, as is a M. It is the relationship that counts, and it seems like there is still alot of confusion on his part, therefore meaning there are still strong feelings, otherwise he would be pretty certain and probably not talk to you at all. People do reconnect and remarry. Think of the D as an extension of the whole thing that you have already survived. Only now it seems crucial that you make a change. It seems that you guys have been in the same limbo for quite some time. Maybe time for you to take a stand and change YOUR reactions to him. I think that it is safe to say that you really need to commit to the GAL and do some 180s now. I know it is hard and that you are focused on your H now, but try to think of focusing on you as the best, if not the only, way that you might ever be able to "start over" with your H. Let him feel your loss, and lose his comfort zone. Now is the time, lmdi. Make it your final stand. I have recently bought "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson, and though I haven't read most of it yet, I see that the concept is that often times when a LBS begins to use "tough love", the WAS will regain respect for them and see them in a new light. (I have also seen mention of a "Dobson letter" on posts here - can anyone elaborate on that concept?) Shake him up a bit, and reclaim your life. I have a feeling it is just what your H needs!! Like a last resort, ya know? And in the end, the truth is that if you drop the rope and GAL, he will either want you back or at the very least, you will be happier, stronger and more confident. You can do it, lmdi, just take the love you have for your H and use it as your inspiration. It could very well bring your H back, and if not, you will at least be better for it. Hang in there!!
