And I get sad for the loss of those things, and the loss of a future with this man - he was my soulmate and my best friend and I didn't think it was possible for anybody to love me as much as he did. Where did that all go?
I too agree with NYS, it's all just chapters in our lives. It was actually Dave's father that taught me that. Wonderful words of wisdom. The chapters can continously write themselves and just as any good editor will tell you, chapters and books can be revised, rewritten at anytime.
There are no guarantees in life and love. I used to believe in the whole soulmates thing too...but now I don't. I just believe that people come into and touch our lives in various stages/chapters when we need them. While we may not know at the time how they will affect our life, we open the door and taken in their experience and knowledge and continue along through our journey of life. There are loves gained/lost along the way.
I understand the loss that you are feeling. I went through that too...but just as quick as I lost it, I gained it back and then some. I learned that my happiness was not dependent on someone else to fulfill it for me. I brought myself my own love. As for losing my best friend, initially I went through the stage of wanting to call and share things with him. But I found other outlets for that and in fact my quality and depth of friendships with others has grown much stronger. I never realized the wonderful friends I had until all this happened.
A friend once explained Dave's confusion as "he feels this way at this very moment, doesn't mean that he will feel that way tomorrow, or the next. It just means that is what he is feeling at this very moment."
