One thing I think I have failed to mention in ANY of my posts, and possibly even to my C, maybe because this notion was just so scary and unbelievable.
Even though I thought it in private, but mostly suppressed the idea when communication my sitch, was that one of the reasons I kept spying and watching was because I was afraid she was playing me, putting me at ease so I that wouldn't disrupt the plans that were not yet complete.
I fueled this theory by some of the bits and pieces I read, quotes from her to OM or friends, such as "I need to get my ducks lined up," and "if we are ever to be truly together", "I'm trying to find the easiest possible way to get out of an unhappy marriage".
Granted, I focused on these, and my fear of what they really meant, whether she was being dishonest with OM and friends, or being completely dishonest with me, because in reality she wasn't really doing anything at home to back up any of these statements. Money was not disappearing from accounts, there was nothing unusual going on as far as household affairs, etc. And if she truly felt about me the way she described things to OM, etc. she would have had to be an incredible actress and faker to continue to ML, affectionate, etc.
I wanted to believe in my heart that she was not capable of that kind of evil (if that's what you want to call it), and part of the reason I kept spying was to find the truth on this, not as much as the A.
But who knows. The aliens doing their "body-snatching" can lead to all sorts of things we would never expect, I guess.
Hang in there.
Crow Jane, Crow Jane, come 'on, I wanna know,
how you love some man, but don't love me no mo'
