I thought that maybe, just maybe, things could work out for me and my H. Apparently, I was very wrong...
I learned today that my H has seen a lawyer and filed for D based on "extreme cruelty." The reasons he has given for the "extreme cruelty" are terribly hurtful, and some aren't even true. The basis for his complaint is my struggle with depression for several years throughout our M, and the toll it took on our M. I can't even write what some of the things are....it was so hurtful. Add to that, the fact that he saw a lawyer and filed without telling me, despite me begging him months ago to tell me when he was going to file so that i would be prepared. Guess he ignored that request. Needless to say, my mind is swirling. I am sick to my stomach. I will definitely need to take something to help me sleep. I am just amazed. All of the things he has said to me over the past weeks, all the while, planning the D. There is a part of me that is in shock, despite knowing that this is what he wanted. I guess i hoped that there was still a chance...guess i was wrong.
On a side note, he did call me this afternoon. We talked for a while...the usual BS and laughter. It is so weird, b/c i still feel such a connection b/w us...guess i was wrong about that too. Its strange, i am upset, and i cried for a while, but i am numb too...in disbelief maybe.
I guess it is time for me to move on now, despite it not being what i want to do. But, what i want doesn't seem to matter...interesting, since it it my life.
