He may consider that you're using your diploma as an excuse to see him and he may be right. Am I wrong about this?
I'm not using the diploma as an excuse to see him. I am not sure why they need it...i did just get a mini-promotion, so maybe they need it for my new job title...i don't know. I would wait until the weekend, but the woman from HR asked me to look for it last night. So, i kind of feel like there is a little urgency. But, i ended up not calling him yesterday. Spoke to him already today...and i feel miserable.
Last night, I went to see this spiritual medium. Basically, she talks to dead people and then reports on what they are saying. So, i go there, and immediately my grandmother shows up and starts talking to her. To make a very long story short, the woman started talking about my R and my H and proceeded to tell me what a nut he is...that he has a serious personality disorder, like narcissistic personality disorder or is a sociopath (!). She said all kinds of horrible things that i really did not want to hear. Basically, that he is not the person i thought he was, and that i overlooked a lot of things when we were dating and only saw the good, b/c he was very good at putting on a show. He was very charming, etc., and then after we got married, everything changed within that first year (that wasn't really the case...things changed between us after we were married for about 4 years). She also said he was manipulative and controlling. Anyway, i am very upset about this. I know it sounds crazy, but i can't get her words out of my head. She did say that i would remarry and she sees me with a child. She also said that he would want to come back, but that i shouldn't let him. There were other things she said that i did disagree with. She told me my mother never liked my H, which is totally not true and i told her that. She then said something about going out and asking her (my aunt came with me). I told her that wasn't my mother. She said well, she's like a mother to you (which she is). But, shouldn't she have known that she wasn't my mother? I don't know. Plus, my mother loved my H...sometimes i thought she liked him better than me. I woke up at like 3 this morning, with her words racing through my head and i felt horrible.
I noticed this morning that my H called me last night around 11:00...i never heard my phone ring. When i got to work, i checked my email and there were 2 emails from him. The second one said that he had tried to call me several times yesterday and last night b/c he needed to talk to me. I called him this morning and left a message on his cell phone. And then i just called him at work. He sounded pissed off, which i pointed out to him. He said "no more than usual." He said he was busy and asked if he could call me later...i said yes, but asked what he wanted to talk about. He said "nothing earth shattering...just organizational stuff." So, i don't know what that could mean.
I just don't get my H. He wants the D, but if he can't reach me, he gets pissed off. God, i am so exhausted by all of this. He and i had been getting along pretty well over the past months. And now he is all mad for no reason.
Anyway, that's my craziness for today. Feel free to make jokes about the spiritual medium. God, i hate this.
