I mean, lets say your spouse gets fired, you're not gonna be running around, jumping for joy, being all happy. No, you're gonna feel for him or her, and be sad right along with him or her.
Well, to address your example, no, you don't HAVE to be sad right along with them. I think for me, mirroring my W's emotional state has caused me to be weak and unable to be there for her when she most needed me. I now realize that empathizing and validating does NOT require us to BE in their same emotional state. This was a HUGE revelation to me. Now that I understand this, I am better able to understand my W's emotions from a place that still lets me fully function and help her through it (well, that is if she wants my help). I can't say that there will never be a time when I am going to mirror my W's emotions again, but I will try not to. I think it helps.
