You might think me weird, but, DBing is quite easy and not exhausting. What's exhausting is tormenting one's self emotionally and being on the rollercoaster. That's where your stress is coming from.
Take a break from the situation this weekend. Unplug the phone. Read a book. Make a snowman. If you can, treat yourself out to dinner at some nice place. Call a friend to come over, or better yet, you go out, and play cards or see a movie or have dinner. And for goodness sakes, switch LifeTime for the Comedy Network!!
I, too, have moments when I can't believe this is my life. I keep thinking that this wasn't supposed to happen.
Well, you're still in a grieving process, you know, and you're gonna have thoughts like that. All normal.
You know the key to your peace of mind is severing the baggage you're attaching to everything.
No matter how much stuff you attach, the reality remains the same, it's not affected by whatever meaning you give this or that, or whatever you attach. So, letting go of these attachments doesn't make things worse, or lose these things, they remain. What gets reduced is the pain you give yourself from these thoughts. Thoughts. They're just thoughts. They're thoughts you conjure. If you conjure them, you can likewise un-conjure them and think other thoughts.
There's a book titled, "The Journey From Heartbreak To Connection" by Susan Anderson. She's a therapist who counsels abandoned spouses and then one day, found herself to be the LBS in her long term relationship. She went into despair, even though she had been counseling people in the similar situation for years. She gained insights firsthand into the plight of the LBS and fine tuned her approach. It may be a good read to help you through this particular process.
