Yesterday was D's birthday - Sweet 16. The celebration was bittersweet.
H picked her up at school and took her to the mall to shop. (Disneyland Dad doing what he does best!)
As I was driving to meet them at a restaurant later in the evening, I made up my mind that this was NOT H's day.....it was D16's day.....so I slapped a happy look on my face, picked up a 10-mylar balloon bouquet and greeted both of them with great enthusiasm.
Everyone in the restaurant was making a fuss over D16, as the balloons created quite an attraction. She put up a bit of a fuss as being embarrassed, but I truly think she appreciated the gesture.
Conversation for the first 10 minutes centered around D's day at school as she told us how her friends had decorated her locker and brought cupcakes and flowers and balloons.
Then silence (It is H's favorite language).
So here I was all happy-faced, excited about being out to dinner, etc., and here is grim-faced H....
In the balloon bouquet were two huge numbers: 1 & 6. But the balloons kept twisting and shifting. When our waitress came over and saw the balloons, she asked who was celebrating a b-day. I told her, "One of us at this table is either 16 or 61....you guess."
Well, she said she could obviously see that it was D and that she was 16. H said, "Well, I FEEL 61." Gotta wonder about that statement, even said in jest.
The remainder of the dinner was pleasant and upbeat. Every time the conversation lagged, I picked it up with a new topic....baseball season, my friends new puppies, our dog, the weather...etc.
When our food came, D and I gobbled up everything on our plates. H just moved his huge salad around and ate about 1/3 of it. When I asked if it was OK, he said he had a big lunch.
D16 and I started talking a bit about her confirmation at church this Saturday and the fact that my folks are arriving in town to stay with us for the weekend to celebrate both the confirmation and birthday Sat. night. We will also invited some neighbors and friends.
I asked H, "Will you be coming on Saturday," and he turned his eyes downward and said in a very small and sad voice, "no." So I said, "Well, you are very welcome to come. I will save you a seat in church." And he said again, "No, I can't." At least he didn't lie and say he was going to be out of town.
So my question to the MLC experts is....would it help, hurt or make no difference to the situation if I sent H an email that said:
Thanks for dinner last night. I enjoyed seeing you. I hope you will reconsider coming on Saturday. No matter what your feelings for me, this is HER night." This is a major milestone in our daughter's life and I am sure she would want you to be there.
So what do you think? Send it, don't send it, reword it? I really could use some guidance on this.
Also, is it significant that H has only seen D16 three times since January and has not had her overnight since that time?
