Quote: I always do non DBing things- but I do things I would be proud to do and not regret- then I know I have made every effort I can.
Cathy -
That is me too! I have probably violated every DB rule at one time or another. But I just hate being RE-ACTIVE, rather than PRO-ACTIVE. And actually, for most of the past 10 months, all I have done is re-act to H's actions and tantrums.
As it turns out...( Matilda, thanks for asking)....
H brought D15 home around noon. He walked into the house briefly, then turned and walked out the door onto our front patio. He was walking pretty fast so I called out, "hey, wait". He stopped and turned toward me. I put my arms around him and gave him a hug. He hugged back - lightly. (I think it shocked him a bit).
I said, "Please stay safe". And he said, "yeah, I will."
Then, almost as an afterthought, he said, "Call me if you need me." (Which was the first time I have heard this since he left).
Now, I admit, that would have been a really nice parting comment.....except that as H was getting into his car, I remembered to ask if he had called our insurance guy to find out if D15 was covered if I take her out to practice driving the car. He confirmed that, "yes" she was.
Then he adds, "I'm gonna look for a car to buy her when I get back from my trip". I dropped my mouth and said..."WHAT?"
He said, "well, you had a car when you were 16 didn't you?" And I said, "Yes, but my dad lived at home." (Always the sarcastic bitch getting in the last word).
So I guess the mood was totally broken by BOTH our comments. And he drove off with me saying to myself, "What the hell is THAT about?
H is saying that he is going to buy her a car, but L & I are bringing petition before the court to force him to pay the last 2 years of her private high school tuition, which he says he can't afford.
He's still in the fog, no matter how much I wish he weren't.
Quote: This is what I experienced several times before my STBX proposed that we give our M a second chance on Sunday (see my updates).
Yes Hoping , I've been following. Things sound good for you so far.
Quote: I try to pick more neutral responses rather than getting back at him right in his face. I am sure your husband appreciated your "soft" reply.
Yes, I am sure he appreciates that I TRY....but I always have to wreck it by following it with a snotty comment. Well, no one said this would be easy.
I used to just fling those snarky comments out there with the attitude of "take that, you stupid jackass"! Now, I still fling them out, but at least I am aware of them, and feel badly about saying them. Sometimes, I even manage to hold in one or two.
So now he is gone...Haven't heard from him since Sunday. And I don't expect to hear from him soon. But I guess that will be the test. Considering that we had one good evening together and then the goodbye hug. Maybe he will pick up the phone and call. I doubt it, but stranger things have been known to happen.
