Quote: Take care Dust, you are sounding much stronger these days.
Hoping,
You are spot on with the fact that I am sounding much more positive these days....and it isn't all my doing.
If I didn't say before, I will tell you now that I had a friend come to southern CA to visit. He was here for a week looking for a job. He is someone who I have known since college. We were intimate about 35 years ago...and then again 25 years ago, and then about 20 years ago...and then....
We have actually discussed never being single at the same time and we have always had a mutual admiration society for each other.
He came to town last week and spent 7 days here interviewing for jobs. Each night, we would go out to dinner and talk, talk, talk.
By way of background, he called me about a month ago and told me he was interested in moving to my town. I probed more and to my surprise, he told me that he was getting a divorce. I said, "me too!"....to which he replied, "my head is spinning."
I didn't really realize what he meant by "my head is spinning" til he got to town and put the "full court press" on me. After going out each night for 5 nights, he finally put the moves on me, the night before he was to fly back home. He told me how he had been my biggest fan from Day #1 and that he has stood by silently while I pursued alot of other guys (in my younger years).
And for 7 nights, he wined and dined me. Asked, "do you want to take a boat trip?; you want to take a limo to the wine coutnry? Should we go for lobster", etc.
He said to me, "You are even more fun than I remember."....OMG....I can't remember when a man loved being with me more.
He opened the door for me...he put his hand on my shoulder when we were waking into the restaurant.....he told me how much he loved his kids.....(very sexy trait to me) and we talked about kids, and kids, and kids....He even met my D15 and said she is so much like his D14.
My H was supposed to have our D15 last Friday night, but due to some sort of real or imagined malady with him, she was with me the whole time new guy was in town.
She was at a party and New guy and I picked her up and dropped her at home. I told her I would be right back home after taking new Guy to his hotel.
When we got there, New guy asked if I wanted to "come up to his room" for a while. Of course, I said, "I don't think that is a good idea.".......We kissed in the car for a few minutes.....and I think I even gave him a "stiffy".!!!!!
Finally, I told him I had to go home. D15 was not stupid and if mom was gone 3 hours to drop off friend....she would know what we were up to.
He was Ok with that.... and I really wanted to BE with him....but I have this "thing" that I am STANDING for my marriage...and new guy is OK with that.
He has called almost every day since he got back to his place. I really wish I would have....well, you know, with him....but I feel OK that I didnt.
I think is was a turning point in my struggle with H and the decision to D. I think that having someone validate ME was so BIG! I like ME! New Guy likes ME!
So what if H has a problem?
I think standing for my marriage for 10 months is long enough. H has OW....I have no one and it hasn't bothered me all this time....but by god, it is sooooo nice to have someone get "excited" over being with me.
I definitely do not think New Guy is "the one" as he has always been the type to marry "arm candy"....you know the 5'10, blonde, slender, with the bottle cap nose..",. but I represent the "one he couldn't have" and although I do not consider myself "arm candy" by any means.....I AM fun! and We DO have a great time together.
So that is my sitch tonight. I am starting to see the light that I am worthy of a good man....and it might not be my H. I HAVE been validated as a worthy woman.....and I love it!
