Thanks all of you for your concern. I've been so busy this week just keeping up with day to day life that I haven't had much time to check the boards.
Myturnnow ......
I think we were seperated at birth. As for your working for the FBI....I consulted with my neighbor, who is a PI and was asking him about gathering evidence, etc...When I told him my plans, he said my methods were very much like what he does for his clients. (I spent 15 years as an investigative reporter so I am used to being subversive in order to gain information).
I don't regret giving up my newspaper career to stay at home with D15, because those have been the most wonderful experiences of my life...But when H says I did nothing and my job was easy.....it makes me realize he really has NO clue!
Quote: H was very passive agressive and blamed me for anything that made him miserable
I can relate to that!!!! If H and I went to dinner and I didn't particularly care for the meal, he would say something like, "Well, we just won't go out to dinner ever again". If we went to a movie and I didn't think it was great, he would say, "You are impossible to please". It didn't matter what my opinion of anything was......he always turned it around to make it seem like I was blaming him.
Cathy,
Quote: My H actually said why are you doing so much work on the financials- you could just guess
Yes, men don't usually pay as much attention to detail as women. My H just guessed on his financials and it going to come back to bite him in the butt. My H estimated WAY high on his expenses. My L says judge will tell H that he is living "way too high on the hog". H listed $600/month for food....What the heck is he eating? In fact, it is almost comical that H's expenses are actually about $4,000 more than his income.
My expenses, on the other hand, will be actual amounts (but will include EVERYTHING - such as manicures for me and D15's eyebrow waxing (Poor kid, she is a very hairy child - due to H being very hairy).
Quote: Thinking of you-- it is a hard time- don't go through it alone- we are here for you!!!
Thank you. It means alot just to read that.
Matilda,
Quote: How is D15 handling things?
Thanks for asking. D15 is status quo. She has been busy with serving as stage manager for a school musical production and also choosing her classes for junior year. She went to a basketball game last night (I drove 4 girls) and tonight, she has plans to attend a party. (I should have such a great social life!!!).
She has been hard to read lately....Somewhat secretive and sullen. She has not seen her dad since Feb. 1. I know they talk on the phone, but I wonder if something happened between the two of them when she spend a week with him while I was in Hawaii.
A friend of mine (who has 3 teen daughters) suggested to me that perhaps I over-react to D15's drama. She said that it has been her experience that it is hard to determine WHAT IN THE WORLD is upsetting girls of that age. She said that I shouldn't necessarily assume that D15 is moody and sad because of H and I. It very well could be something at school or between D15 and her friends. I think that is a valid comment but I will still keep an eye out for any "going off the deep end" behavior. How is your D15?
Hoping,
Quote: Why, was I such a horrible person that even if he is lonely and miserable he rather be alone???
No, you are not horrible. Your H NEEDS to be alone. My H NEEDS to be alone. You and I both know that we do not deserve this...
The more I think about it the more I think my H is just plain stupid. He has ALWAYS been stupid when it comes to matters of the heart.
He once gave me money in an envelope for Christmas! How romantic! I know his heart was in the right place, but for gosh sakes....if you don't think you know your wife well enough to pick out a meaningful gift and you have to resort to giving cash....how impersonal is that?
Quote: He was always saying good things about me to his family and friends and said was proud of me. Now I am such a b****?
No, you aren't. Your H - just like mine- has to say this, and hope he can convince himself, of it because it wouldn't make sense to do mean things to a nice person (which we are). Believe me, they ARE feeling guilty!! And even though it would be obvious to a reasonable person that our H's actions are contradicting everything they have said in the past, THEY don't see it. My H is so blinded by his own rage (which my C says is anger at HIMSELF) that he doesn't even remember today, what he said yesterday. He has said some terrible things to me, none of which are true....but it's HIS reality I have to deal with....and everyone....My friends, even HIS friends....cannot believe he is acting so out of character.
As for our kids, yes they are the innocent ones really getting hurt here. I just pray that our H's will wake up in time to make things right. but unfortunately, I think it's already too late.
