<but with the knowledge that I have tried just about everything I can to make our M work >
I know that I have done everything also, for me, that is something that I HAD to do before accepting it was over.
Wrongedwife,
Thanks for your comments. It's both nice and sad to know that someone (or alot of someones) are going through the same thing.
I am the type of person who always has to analyze my actions. And I KNOW for certain that if I had just given up and NOT tried to do everything I could to save my M, it would bother me for the rest of my life. I have enough regrets. I didn't want to worry about a new one.
So now I honestly think that I will be able to look myself in the mirror and more importantly, look D15 in the face, and say that I DID try EVERYTHING!
It is rare for me to admit that something isn't do-able. I have never taked defeat lightly. But in this case, I just can't fight the fight anymore. So now I will throw my energy into planning and fighting for the best possible outcome for D15 and I.
H is a big boy. He can take care of himself. That is not my job anymore. And heaven help him because he doesn't have a lot of experience taking care of himself.
The best thing we can do is look out for ourselves. I know I have made alot of progress. I am happier with who I am today than I have been in a long time. I don't have my M or my family together anymore, but I have a whole new Dust and I am getting to like her more every day!
