I have been sitting here with the financials and interrogatoraties for over a week. I guess it is the perfectionist in me that wants the narrative to be "pulitzer" material.
My H is pretty much into the selfish script. I gave up my career to be a stay at home mom to D15 ever since she was born (well, actually, I stayed working til she was about 18 months, then just didn't like that someone else (daycare) was raising her instead of me.
My H travels around 200 nights a year (somewhat seasonal - March through November) so it was impossible to have any sort of career, school, or anything that you have to do on a regular schedule.
When H and I married, 17 years ago, I had a pretty good career going, But we made a mutual decision that H would be the working man and I would stay at home and handle the child, the house, shopping, cooking, cleaning, the finances, the dog, the volunteering at school, girl scouts, play dates, chauffeuring to sports and school events, and family social director, etc.
A month ago when he filed for D, he stated to me that HE earned all the money and I did NOTHING! Therefore, every material thing we have is his and I need to "go find a job" to support myself. He is even refusing to pay all of D15's private school tuition and he's already spent her college fund on his new condo.
One thing that I am doing is including photos to illustrate the things that I need. We were 2 years from having the house paid off in full. We refinanced last Feb. and took out alot of money to rehab our 35 yr old house and have some $$ to invest for D15's college. So now we have a new 30 yr mortgage that we owe tons of money on. The house never got fixed up and H took the refi money out of the bank and is spending it on his cars, OW, and fun.
I want to ask the judge to make him either pay down the new mortgage with it OR use the money to do the needed repairs to the house that we had planned.
Everything in our house is "original issue" - meaning it has never been updated, save for a new roof and occasional paint. I have a 35 yr old stove, on which only one burner works; a double oven, on which only one oven works; 35 yr old cracked and chipped avacado green (Yuck) linoleum in the kitchen; 35 yr old windows that only "slow down" the wind in bad weather; - 35 yr old carpeting that has been shampooed to within an inch of its life; 35 yr old faucets that drip constantly......well, you get the picture.
One of my goals this week was to get all the paperwork organized. I went to Costco and bought this really great 10 drawer organizer on wheels. It has multi colored drawers that pull out and was only $21. I have labeled each drawer and am totally on the way to being more organized than I have been in years.
Anyone with suggestions on what to write to a judge to help him appreciate the multitude of tasks bestowed on a stay-at-home mom would be appreciated.
