Sorry you find yourself here. I applaud your stand on giving up the OM. I don't think it's very common on here that one of us initiates the divorce. More often, we accept the infidelity and try to win them back. I certainly don't frown upon your "tough love". It's probably indicated.
My suggestions: Try not to do too much out of anger. I can understand being angry, but I also think that it does more harm to you than to her. I recommend accepting it as something that happened, can't be undone, and can't be changed. Since you've taken the steps to divorce and are trying to let go, I think letting go of the anger at her is a step in that process. Take pride in being the better man. After she's served perhaps you could tell her that you forgive her for the choices that she made, this isn't about anger, and that it's about making the choices for yourself that you need to have a fulfilling life. It really is empowering to let that stuff go. I'm not saying forget...just forgive.
You didn't move over to surviving the big D so I'm presuming that you would consider reconciling if things went that way. So, I'd try not to completely burn all the bridges out of anger (and I'm not saying.."take all the debt")
Me
P.S. BTW, nice gesture on the therapist. Doubt she'll take it and from what I've heard and experienced, women prefer female therapists so might be influenced not to go for that reason alone. Good luck to you.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
