Daisy Lover...I am so sorry you are going through what you are going through...in the blissful state I am in, I am almost afraid to go back and read my posts starting in early December when I came to these boards but I see it is all an evolving process...
What have you done in GAL for yourself? whatever it takes you have find joy and happiness in something that takes your constant focus and attention away from your M and H...one thing that my advisor who gets censured on these boards told me was that a spouse will never leave or D a spouse that is happy...you have to find genuine happiness for yourself first...you cannot fake it or just give the outward appearance that you are happy...you have to genuinely feel it...I know that is difficult but like I said in a past post...I am perhaps the most impatient person alive before this...for lack of a good description, the easiest way I can describe myself is the living embodiment and stereotype of the Type A NYC Italian male who is also to the tee an Aries (the Ram) on top of all that...if I can do it and have that kind of patience and detach, ANYONE can do it, ANYONE!! I probably did it with His help and I have to think it was a lesson that I had to learn in not only patience but humility...I even told my W that I will never hold a grudge or resentment for this time apart because I have grown so much over the last seven or eight months but it was a process...
Let go and let Him do the driving for a change...give Him a chance to do His works...go talk one on one with your priest...ask your priest how to let Him in so you can clear yourself for Him to do His works...God will not work in you if you are harboring anxieties I think because that means you dont have the blind faith He requires and your hands are still on the wheel...you have to detach from your anxieties and "lean into" your fears and the best way is to give it all to Him...
I know this sounds very intangible and might be very very hard to grasp in your present state but it can really work for you...lets say you dont try this and dont detach...do you think that has any shot at all in bringing your H back? why would he come back when you are anxiety ridden, not happy and appear to have not changed from when you split up?
I really hope you will consider giving it all a try...sounds like you have the foundation to make this happen...dont fight what might work because it probably only prolongs your misery...keep us posted on what happens and stay strong!!
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads...=5&o=31&fpart=1
