Your story gives me hope. We have been separated for 13 months, but have never spent a long period of time where we didn't talk or even "date" until before the holidays. Then everything seemed to fall apart. I think becuase I am getting impatient waiting for him to "come around". He is always "too busy" with work, golf, whatever. I have been the one to read books, counseling, etc. I think that he cares, he is just "emotionally retarded". After the holidays I had finally had enough and told him that Jan 1st was my deadline for some progress to be shown. He did call me, but didn't say anything about my deadline or offer any words of encouragement of his commitment to me. I went to a lawyer, and as a result have a court date on 2/15 to establish child support and maintenance. I am freaking out, this isn't what I want but I don't know what else to do. Maybe he'll never get it! I had written him a note for Valentines Day telling him that I married him forever, and that I didn't want to go through the rest of my life without him (we have been married 25 years, dated before that for 7 years - since I was 14)we have three wonderful children, one who is getting married herself, in October, another in college and one left in high school. I think that I need to take the approach, "to detach and pray". We both go regularly to church, our kids have all gone to catholic schools. So the family/marriage teachings are all around us, I just don't understand how he has let it fall apart, by not doing what he needs to do. I am so afraid that after the court date on 2/15 that he will dig his heels in further and our marriage will never mend. I know in my head that I can't force this, but my heart is breaking thinking that this may be doing more damage. I had to do something though, the stress this limbo is causing me is starting to be unbearable. any advice on how to detach?
