Greetings! HappyGiant here! I was formerly "Mraintgettinany" but decided to change my screen name to reflect a bit more positive attitude toward my relationship hopes..
Anyway, the "Do you and your spouce sleep nude" discussion finally got to the point where I decided I had something to contribute and the thread got locked. Th thread itself seemed to meander through a number of topics, so I thought I might throw this out there to get it back on track, as there were a lot of valid points about the evolution of relationships over time.
So... do my SO and I sleep nude? No. As the HD spouse in the realtionship, do I wish we did? Heck yea! And like so many in th thread, we used to do that.. way back when, then something happend and now she bundles up in the eskimo gear. The same sitch as most of you..
There did seem to be a lot of debate over the role of lingerie and husbands that like their wives to be just naked. I remember reading some frustration to this fact. Let me offer this "male" insight:
Like I said, I am very HD, so the thought of seeing my wife in lingerie... almost anything different or sexy is something I would LOVE! I have purchased a lot of it in my day that has, saddly, never even been worn once. I get the "thanks" along with the eye roll and then it goes into the drawer along with all the others that will never see the light of day..
But for as much as I love seeing lingerie... when it comes to sex, I gotta say, I prefer my wife to be naked. Not just mostly undressed, I mean nekkid! (I lived in texas for a few years)... Why not just go with the sexy lingerie? To me, it is a show of trust, which to me shows love.
We live in a world that seems all about "packaging". Everything is packaged up so that it looks as appealing as possible. Everyhting from homes, to businesses to people, fashion, etc. No one wants to go out unless they look their best, have fancy clothes, etc. As Madonna says "We are living in a material world". Even with the way people dress themselves up... It's all about the push up bra, the feature enhancing clothes, enchance the chest, hide the tummy, on and on and on. But when it comes to intimacy, I don't want all of that. I want it to be simple.. Me and Her and NOTHING else.
When we get to the point of being undresssed in front of another human being, we are throwing all of that worldly stuff away. There is nothing you can do to hide, or reshape, or any of that stuff while being naked.. It takes alot of guts, a lot of courage to allow another person to see us in that state. But to me.. it takes trust.
If my wife gets undressed and allows me to see her that way, how does it make me feel as a person? It makes me feel important. It makes me feel loved. It makes me feel trusted and that brings alot to the intimacy right from the start. She is allowing me to see her without anything hidden, as a natural person.. to me, that is one of my favorite parts of the whole thing.. to have someone I love in front of me, not hiding anything and sharing with me and trusting that I will love that body wihtout judgement.
Now, unfortuantely, I am living in a dream world here.. I am the guy who is married to someone who is so self conscious about her body she cannot dress or undress with me anywhere near her. Seeing her naked is a huge no-no!!! She hates and is uncomfortable with any kind of nudity, from either of us.
But for those that may get frustrated that your spouce doesn't get into seeing you with lingerie, and would just prefer to see you naked, don't think it is you, or don't think there is something wrong with him. It could be something much deeper and he is showing that love and desiring to be trusted by only wanting you undressed.
