Imdi, Thank you for your advice in the wording; I will leave that part out, about it being a mistake. You’re right; that’s not good wording and will make him defensive.
It would seem like they would need to hear this since we are constantly told that their guilt can be huge factor in them not returning. I feel the same way and at times my H. has said this actually is a factor in why he won’t try. do you think he doesn't know you love him and would forgive him just based on what he's observed from you I am not sure. I think he knows it, but I also think he just cannot believe it because of how far over the line he has gone. I also feel that if he’s going to open up and tell me exactly what’s been going on, once he has said what he needs to say I want to make it clear to him that I still love him despite what has happened. Maybe up until this point he hasn’t been able to accept my forgiveness because he has NOT been completely honest yet. You can’t accept someone’s forgiveness if you haven’t been forthright with them.
NY S, Thank you very much for explaining that. It’s very confusing to me. For example, if he does decide to file, what kind of grounds does he possibly have? I didn’t do any abandoning! Thank you for explaining the COBRA law, too. I will keep this in mind and in the event I am faced with filing, then I will know I will still be covered in some manner. I am not going to try to sue him on adultery grounds. I know it would be very costly and just not worth the trouble. I mean, either way we’d still end up divorced; what does it matter the reason on the paperwork? I still feel that we could mediate. I don’t see that being a problem; the only thing is that it requires me to agree to file. H. & I have to do it together. I may need some time to think about this.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
