I really don't want to go dark anymore. I need to talk to him and see what he has to say. And we need to discuss what we are going to do, how to proceed... I see now that my H. is not going to change his mind. He does not want to continue this marriage. Perhaps some of the reasons why will be part of what he wants to tell me in person.
Actually, NYS, I think the questions would haunt me more than the answers. I don't expect that what he has to tell me is going to be easy to hear, but I need to hear it.
I think you feel you need to hear it, yes, yet it will rock you further, just like this recent revelation has. You're setting yourself up for more hurt.
So here's a thought for you, why not contact the PK Center, get something set up with them in which H is invited to participate. That way, your Q&A sessions can be conducted under the care of a therapist who will be there for you, rather than going through this single-handedly and putting yourself through even more torment?
And who knows? This may also provide a "back door" approach to your H to see his own issues.
