Don't be too hard on yourself Hope. You are still very much hurting from recent revelations. IMHO I think you would be better to talk after you have let the dust settle for a few days so that you are both calm and have had a chance to assimilate the knowledge that has come your way. Be strong whatever you decide.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15