Ebb & Flow

[hopefloats7]

I wanted to say thank you so much to all of my friends here who let me lean on them today. Love you all.

For about an hour, H. kept trying to call me after work. He left several vm's saying we need to talk (gee, I think we already did) and that "it isn't as bad as you think"; he wants to tell me the truth and there are things that I don't know. Great. So he is supposedly calling me back in a little while to discuss this further. What a nice Valentine's day this has turned into.

I honestly don't know what to believe from him anymore. I will admit there are parts of his story thus far that do not make any sense. How could he not know one way or the other? He has to know; maybe this is what he wants to talk about.

The one other piece that I have a very hard time with is him saying that he was having this ongoing affair for 4 years. Now I've done a lot of thinking back today, as you can imagine, and I have to tell you, I cannot understand how I never noticed anything amiss until last summer. I mean, during that time that I know he was seeing her, it was very obvious that he wasn't home a lot, was spending a lot more money, and little signs that I can attribute now to the affair. But before that, there were no signs that were leading me to suspect a single thing.

I really don't think there is anything more I can do for this marriage. H. has destroyed so much of what I thought was our life. I hate to give up, but at this point, I don't see any other way, and he has shown me no signs of wanting to come back and really work on things.

I hope others here won't be discouraged over my situation. Truthfully, I see a lot of hope in many of your marriages, so please hang in there, ok? You can do it.
love, |
Hope