Hope- I know that there are no words that can take away your pain and confusion. Just know that I am here if you need anything. I can't imagine what you must be feeling and thinking right now. But, you are very strong. And know that what your H has done in NO WAY reflects on you...this is not your fault. I know you, like me, have often felt like we are not good enough, etc. Banish those thoughts from your head. You are a wonderful person. And you will get through this. Be well. Take care of yourself.