I just want to say out loud that it is SO very hard to emotionally detach from a person that you are still in love with. There, I said it.

Hmmm. Yet 'emotional detachment' doesn't have anything to do with loving someone. What detachment means is to let go of reactions to events and actions over which you have no control anyway. It's the converse of being so dependent on another that one's lost one's self.

For a full discourse on what detachment is, and why it's so healthy, read http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm