Hope- I don't really have an advice on this for you. But, i will say that i feel the same way. Last night, while talking with my H, i was thinking "well, how can he see that things will be different if he doesn't even try." He does acknowledge noticing some things that have changed, but i am not sure how. I mean, does he just see it in what i say, or how i say it, or how i act when i am with him? I don't know the answer. I understand your frustration over this. And i can understand what NYS and Sassy are saying. But, it is hard to focus on us when what we want is our H's back. Like i said, my changes don't feel worth it if he isn't around to see them. Yes, they could benefit us in the future, but right now we can't imagine that future without our H's. Sometimes, i feel so frustrated within myself b/c there is so much i want to give and show my H, but i don't have the chance. I guess the thing is to make the most out of your interactions. Right now, you are fighting him on his decision to not come back. What if you were to agree? That would be different for you, right? Yes, i know you don't want him to interpret that as you not wanting him back. Thing is, we can't control how they think or what they do. I don't know if any of this is making sense. I just feel so emotionally exhausted today. I think you and i both have to try to let go a little bit more and see what happens. Does us trying to convince our H's to give us another chance ever work? No, it doesn't. So, we have to do something different, as hard as that is. I didn't want to sign those papers last night to put the house up for sale, but i did it, without too much of a fight. Yes, there was plenty of discussion afterwards, and i know there shouldn't have been, but oh well. It is so hard for me to let go b/c i feel like i have no control over anything, so i try to hold on as tight as possible in order to have that control. Thing is, i don't.
Anyway, i don't want to hijack. Just wanted to tell you i understood. If i can figure out a way to deal with this, you'll be the first to know.
