Hi. I will admit you are completely right that my emotions tend to flux depending on what H. is doing. I know it and you know it. I’m trying to do better but it’s very hard. You view the situation as H. wanting to be alone. I guess I see it as the total opposite: he wants to find the next o.w. and try her on for size, so to speak. Anyone but me. I think he wants a R. but just not with me, because he remembers being unhappy with me. And here again is the problem: I can’t show him that things would be different in our R. if there is no interaction (more than phone calls I mean) between us. We can go ahead and separate our finances as I suggested, and hopefully this will help to show him I recognize he felt out of control in this area; I want that to change. It’s one of many things. But others can’t really be implemented unless he came back into a R. with me. We need to have that level of interaction before he could see these changes. He is being stubborn and making me feel as though our marriage is of no value to him.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
