Hi, and thanks. I appreciate your advice. As I said, I guess I feel like I should move now, take action, while he isn’t yet with another o.w. and before he gets his own apt. Regarding the emotional investment, I don’t know what to say about this. H. had convinced me he was VERY invested. He wanted to come back around Thanks. but he couldn’t because of his intense feelings for o.w. He said, “I can’t come back while I have a girlfriend.” And when they split up in Dec. he went through a terrible withdrawal period. So, there were emotions that were intense at one point. As I said, whatever has soured their R., I have no idea but I wish I did.
I hate how he has convinced himself that being with me = being so unhappy. I am aware of the problems, and I know that I am a stronger, better person because of all this. His attitude is to just move on; leave the mistakes in the past and don’t think about it. And this attitude makes me feel very devalued as his wife. Wasn’t I worth working on the marriage for? He doesn’t seem to be afraid of losing me, which makes me feel that he doesn’t think I’m very desirable as a person to be with, spend time with and create a R. with. It seems he’s on the search now for someone better.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
