I feel that by being here for her and maintaining the status quo is only enabling her to continue the A and possibly getting herself in deeper.
Tell me how she's *not* going to do that regardless of what you do or don't do.
On the other hand, I know that I cannot force a decision because it leaves unresolved feelings within her.
Ain't that the truth?
I feel that if the status quo is kept, where does that get us?
But you're on a path to not keep the status quo, aren't you? That is to say, while giving her space, you're working on building your life (finding your own life apart from hers), making improvements in yourself (purging negative behaviors and adopting healthier ones) and in the proper care and feeding of relationships, and thinking "solution oriented" and applying said rather than floundering around led emotionally 24/7?
I see so many people on here that are doing just that, maintaining the status quo and I'm not sure its gotten anyone anywhere.
There's a fair amount of people posting in still early into their sitches, who may or may not be DBing successfully or somewhere in between, or in situations that may never repair no matter what they do, or in situations where reconciliations may happen, as many do, years down the road. Truth is, though we all come here because we want to win our lovers back, in time, many of us learn that's a secondary goal, the primary goal becomes improving ourselves. Aren't too many sites like that. And if you can do that, then you really have gotten somewhere, don't you think?
