Another Thursday

[WantToSaveIt]

I know how you feel, rob. I know how discouraging and heartbreaking the the "lies, deceit and betrayal" can be. Sometimes I wonder what's the worse: the jealousy I feel because of OM, or that my W is capable of the lies, deceit and betrayal in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to spend the rest of my life with someone who is capable of lies, deceit and betrayal, when I thought I married someone I could trust "til' death do us part".

And am I snooping to try find out if the "lies, deceit and betrayal" are just part of a passing thing, that's not really her, but a symptom of "being abducted by aliens", or is it a deeper problem that indicates that she could really end up screwing me big-time either in the near future or after the kids are grown, leaving me alone when I'm over 50. And do I snoop to find out if I need to protect myself?

But like grasshopper said, what if I did find out that it was still going on? Would that really be the last straw and I would make an appointment with a D lawyer ASAP? Grasshopper is right, I would have done that already if I was going to do it.

Food for thought:

I somehow subscribed to some marriage mailing list that is trying to sell me expensive marriage counseling tapes or something, but I get daily updates with tips that try to reel you in for the sale. But one the other day I read and thought was insightful and am still chewing on it:

He basically said, whatever your situation, give it a year. Don't rush out or even start thinking divorce. Give it a year and honestly work on it and yourself. Not so much to save your marriage (although that would be great, and that is the primary goal), but rather to prepare yourself for your next relationshiop. Hopefully that "next" relationship will be a new relationship with your current spouse, but if it doesn't work, you will have given yourself a year's worth of training for the next relationshiop, even if it is someone else. Without that training, you will be going into another relationship as the same person you were when you jumped the gun and called it quits.