He he he... In this morning's convo, I told him that this guy said to me "I wanna paint you wearing just that!". "That" was my grandma's necklace... My H was shocked and said "wow..you mean there are people who are so direct?" LOL... I wasn't making up stories....
Also, had a bouquet of flowers delivered to my workplace from this visitor. I did briefly mention to H...and he wondered who was the guy who sent me flowers... Truth again... except I didn't tell him that it was from him AND his wife. HE HE HE...
From my last post..., Tuesday afternoon, H sent me a text. H: *text missing* something fast!! Me: ?? text missing. Don't know what you are talking about. H: In meeting....but was thinking about u riding ur hunk...screaming and moaning like when u are on me!!! Don't think i like it. Think I better do something fast!!! H: Don't you get it?? I said that I don't think I liket the though of u being f*#ked, moaning and screaming. Have to do something fast. Like that also don't understand. Me: This morning was my mistake. Won't happen again. No small talk until you sort it out. H: Yes. Yes. Bye then... will call the boys tonight.
H did call later in the night to talk to the boys. I didn't speak to him.
Today - Wednesday. H didn't call but did text me around noon to ask if I managed to check the bank account to see if the $ is in. Told him no, but will do so later today. Then he thanked me and proceeded to tell me about his car. I texted back and commented about the car, and then wished him luck in his tender. H replied back "bye too. Tmrw and Friday is a public holiday but will be working because of the tender". I wanted to text and made a sarchy remark about him being with ow...but decided NOT to. To just let it go... No point, right? Not too sure if I want to continue to DBING to be cheerful, friendly towards him...or should I proceed to the AFTER LRT.....
GAL Stuff... * Dinner for Sister's New Baby tmrw * Movie - Ice Age II with the boys either on Sat PM or Sunday AM. * Spa and Dinner on Sunday PM with the girls... * Gala Dinner on Friday, 7th ....
Thursday... AM. H called early in the morning. Asked me about the $ again. Then asked about S8. S8 spoke to his dad for a bit and passed the phone back to me abrupty and I commented something to S8 and he replied "He wants to talk to you". So, we spoke abit about $ and then told me about his car etc etc. Nothing heavy.
In the evening, did go to my sister's dinner. H called my mobile. I let the boys answer it and didn't talk to H. Don't know why but after the dinner, before bed, I did the unthinkable...I sent H a text. Me: Do you miss me as a friend? Not as wife or lover but friend? H: What are you talking about? Me: Nevermind. Nothing. Nite. H: Call u in 5 minutes. Me: No need. Going zzzz.
H called... and of course what I meant. Then said that he still treats me as "wife and lover". Blah blah blah. I told him that I was gonna Let go and be open to any guy's advances. He asked "can you wait ten minutes for me to get home?". Told him "NO. I don't wanna have phone s@x." It was kinda late. So didn't talk long so ended the call. After the call, got a text from H "Don't go f#@k anyone yet. I'll be back soon. nite hottie..." Didn't reply to this till the next morning.
Friday... Numerous text exchanges .... H did send me some really rauchy stuff. And then called me. Talked abit about stuff. Teased him about ow. About what my dad said. He said "maybe your H likes perverted s@x and ow likes to do that too...that's why your H has problems leaving ow". LOL... H was red-faced (from his voice) and denied it has anything to do with s@x. Anyway, we talked for abit (while I was driving...)and then he said "Don't go f$%k anyone, I will be back soon". I said "I am not gonna benefit you...If I am letting go, why would I wanna have s@x with you?" and he repeated "I said I will be BACK with you soon ". After we ended the call, he texted me again "Don't go out f@#king yet. Talk to u later".
Later....I texted him. Me: I am asking for the sake of asking...I am taking the boys to a charity treasure hunt end of May. This is organised by M. Do you want to participate? H: Ok....give me the dates. I'll book my flights back.
So...there...we are back to behaving like a somewhat "normal" family....guessed I am continuing with my DBING techniques after my PMS problems. LOL? And NOT AFTER LRT??? Wonder how long I will last....
Saturday.. Nothing much... H did call in the evening. BOys were busy with their sports coaching. So he didn't talk to them. He did call again later. Talked to both boys and even their friend. Phone was passed back to me... he asked about where we were having dinner etc...but I told him that I couldn't hear, so ended the call rather quickly.
Sunday... H called in the evening...didn't hear the phone. So didn't pick it up. Then he texted. I only saw the text much much later. So did reply. Nothing much.... but some text exchanges.
Monday... Travelled out of town for work. H called about 11am. Asked me where I was and sounded a little "appalled" that I did the 4-hour drive alone. And then sort of ended the call rather quickly. Think he only want to see that I was ok. Later in the afternoon, texted me about his tender being delayed a week....
So...another calm day. I guessed it is calm if we keep our contacts to a minimum, and that I don't see him. Then I tend to not really focus on him, which is good, right??
H did call on Monday night to "check" how I was. Told me that he won't be back this weekend, and will be back earlier next week blah blah blah. Nothing much.
Tuesday, H did call me in the evening, and texted me good night later... nothing much again..
Yesterday, H called the boys and spoke to the boys. Asked for me but I "deliberately" went to the bathroom and shouted out to the boys that I was busy when S6 shouted "dad wants you"... Boys told me that "dad says he will call back later". He did call... inquired about my ankle (sprained my ankle by the way) and simple chit chat.
This morning (Thursday), don't know why but had this strong strong urge of calling H and telling him that I don't want him back... but didn't do so. Kept busy. He did call me about 3 hours ago.... I picked up and he said "why do you sound like you want to kill me?". LOL... Some talk then, H: why do you sound like you are angry. Me: If I am, it's my right, right? H: Yes. yes. Wow...you have alot of rights now, huh? Me: Yes...
Some further talks.... Me: You know..last Sunday was ONE year. And you are still sorting out. H: Is it? I am sooo sooo busy. I just don't have the time. Me: Whatever. Just tell me that you want me to go to the lawyers. H: No. I have negotiations next week ...trying to close the deal within two weeks. Will sort that out as well. Me: Whatever. Up to you. Anyway, you are not supposed to call me. H: Okay, I won't call you.. (LOL) Me: You can't do that. Can you... So, when you are with her, you have to sneak off to call me is it? H: (LOL)... Anyway, you just keep quiet and leave things to me. Me: (sighing)
Anyway, we ended the call with him still on a very very jovial mood...To tell you the truth, him being so jovial while I am trying frustratingly to be patient really irritates me quite a bit.
Maybe I have to be focused on the BABY STEPS?? Let's see.. Baby Steps.. * He calls me everyday * He calls the boys everyday * He is going to participate in S6's Family Day at his school next week * He wants to participate in a Charity Treasure Hunt that I am bringing the boys-to in May. * Very very jovial
But who knows what's with these WAS...he could turn around and ask for a D within a heartbeat.... Oh well..not within my control.
Friday, Had a Charity Gala Dinner, so was getting ready after work. When I came out of the shower, saw that there was a missed call on my phone, and it was H. Ignored it. Not long later, he called and I picked up and talked abit, but I ended the call rather abruptly and told him that I had to put on my make-up and can't talk to him. Later, few text exchanges. SOme of H's texts: H: Are your t*ts hanging out?? H: Blah blah blah (about work). Enjoy Yourself... H: I have nothing to enjoy!!! No Bang Bang for you!!! H: Pls don't go scouting for a f*ck!!! That's what I meant!! You are slow... H: enjoy yourself..I'm home reading contract!!! Call me tonight when home and we can have phone f*ck... H: Now I'm worried...and you've just finished your period...can take all the c** in you without getting worried!!!
When I got home, I did send him a short text about me getting into a minor accident (yes, I did..on the way to the dinner..and also stopped by a cop)... He called me immediately. No long chats...as I was rather sleepy.
Next morning.. Saturday.. Don't know why but I woke up feeling rather at peace, as if I am really ready to let H go. Silly me, text him so. And he called me immediately. Spoke a bit. Not long. Again, the usual stuff of him not supposed to call me unless it's about money or the boys. Later, he texted me about his stupid passport, which I replied "why are you telling me this? Just because I had dinner with the PM yesterday, doesn't mean that I could help with instantaneous passport!". H: Ha ha...very funny. Have anice day. Call the boys later today...bye hottie. Have to say u are one hot p**sy.
Not long later, he called and bugged me about phone s*x. I put down the phone. Called and called again. Yup...ended up having phone s*x on Sat morning...
Can't really remember the evening...he did call the boys...
Sunday.. H called me in the afternoon asking me about "How do I cook BKT??". Explained to him and then later, got a text from him. SOme text exchanges...then I think he tried to call but I couldn't hear the phone so missed it. H texted "Tried to call but no answer. Will call boys later". He did call boys later in the night. S6 asked "do you want to talk to mommy? Oh..no need? Okay". Oh well..
Don't know what to expect ...so NOT Going to. Don't know how to react....so NOT going to. Don't know what to think....so NOT going to.
Just Take ONE day at a TIME....Focus on myself...and NOT think about my R, my M or my H...
I don't know how you keep on staying so calm. I would be certifiable by now. No advice, just checking in to see how you are. Hope your ankle is better.
Kismet - Am also wondering myself ...how long could I go on like that? I think my sitch is beyond advice now... It is really getting on with my life and living for myself and my boys. Can't really control H at all. Plodding along...
Journalling.. From my last post... Calm seas still. H did call me at work on Monday. Short chat as I was rather busy at work. Some text exchanges in the evening about S6's Family Day at school.
Tuesday... H called in the evening. Handed the phone to the boys. They had it on "loudspeaker"...and heard H say "can I speak to mommy, please". Nothing...he just want to see how I am. Short chat about a friend. Later in the night, H texted to ask about S6's family day again... Never ever pay attention to what I tell him - just told him the same thing on Monday?????!!?
Today (Wednesday) H tried to call my mobile, but line dropped. So he texted me...about him being ill and expensive airline tickets. Me: Take a panadol and drink lots of water. How come you always end up buying expensive tickets? Me: When are you flying in, if I may ask? Me: On second thoughts, don't answer my question. H: (Text came in immediately) Haven't bought yet..but likely first flight out on Sat morning and back on Sunday noon. I'm really really busy. H: Too late...ha ha. Me: knowing you...you probably will fly in on Friday nite and spend it with ow, and then drop by on Saturday morning. Me: Actually, you don't have to come. I will explain to S6. H: I'll be there. Besides, havent' seen them and u for a while already. Will spend the Sat with them...including badminton. Fever very high now...hasn't subsided yet. Me: Take a panadol. Will get out of your way so that you can spend time with the boys on Sat. Then he went on asking me about medications etc...and then sent me another text " OK...trying to rest now. bye hottie!!!! Call the boys tonight."
Then later, I sent him an email...don't think that he can make it if he takes the Saturday flight. He'll miss the event. So, what's the point? Either he is kidding himself or trying to kid me???
Anyway, will have to focus on myself...focus on myself...
From my last post... WEDNESDAY H tried to call my mobile in the evening but line was cut off. Then he called my parents' house. We were there for dinner. Boys took turns to talk to him. Nothing much. Some text exchanges between the two of us later in the night about his cough, contact lenses etc...
THURSDAY... Got a text from H in the morning.. telling me that he is feeling better and flying off to Country Y. Didn't reply. Then about around noon...H texted again telling me that his fever is back but he is not as bad as day before. Was thinking to myself..."Why tell me? What can I do? What am I supposed to do??" Anyway, did the normal courtesy thing and sent him a short text to tell him to have a panadol and lots of water...
Later in the afternoon... H called my mobile. SOme of our convo.. Me: Where are you now? H: In country Y as I told you. Me: Oh..no no..don't tell me. H: (Grinning) Okay you don't ask, I don't tell. Me: I don't know what I am. Am I a wife, a lover, or just mother of your children? H: Wife. Wife Me: But wife surely will ask where you are. Blah blah blah... I said something about "contracts" H: I have a lot of contracts in front of me, and I don't need more. Me: Well, expect more. I will get one ready. H: (Grinning and laughing) Is it? Anyway, just keep quiet. You are so noisy.
Don't know what he means??? He is always saying that I am sooo noisy.
Later in the evening.... H called my mobile but missed the calls as I left the phone in the car. He called the house. S8.5 answered but S6 and I were upstairs in the boys' room. He called again and this time S6 answered and spoke to him. Later, he called again and S8.5 ran to answer the phone. And this time, S8.5 was shouting for me. All H wanted to ask was how was everything.. I answered quite gruffly (as I was quite cheesed off to come answer the phone in the middle of my story-telling to S6) and he asked "why do you sound so mad? I just want to see if everything is okay!". I answered gruffly again "what can you do if there IS something? Anyway, I am halfway reading a story and had to rush down to the phone". So call ended...
Later in the night ~ midnight...got a text from H. "After a few beers...I'm not coughing anymore. Happy some more. Ha ha....nite nite hottie." I didn't reply....was already half asleep.
FRIDAY.. This morning..Got a text from H asking me how come I have not logged into IM lately. Again, I didn't reply... Gonna pretend that I didn't see the text.
It is really getting on with my life and living for myself and my boys. Can't really control H at all. Plodding along...