As for being extra nice over the weekend. Yes, I did but I am a wreck now. Thought that I am strong and detached but realised that I am not. I just IMed H and went with my clingy ways and he called and we sort of argued a bit and there we are back at almost zero. Overall, the trip was good. Too good in fact. Things were like normal. H was almost his usual self, scooping food to my plate, being concerned about me. We talked about things like normal. Joked and all. Had our sessions and all. We didn't argue at all throughout the 5 days that I was there. But this morning, felt really crap. Perhaps things were too good and I realised that it's not the truth?? That I am living in some la-la make believe land?? I don't know...
In our teleconvo a few minutes back, H said "I said leave things as it is. What do you have to lose?" I said "my sanity?". Asked him if he wanted me to do the paperwork, then he'll be happy. He said NO. Told him that I can get our mutual friend to help him out. He said NO again. Anyway, I really don't know what to do. What do you fellow DBERs suggest? I have told him that I need to not have any contact with him, and he said "Okay, I will leave you alone for awhile till I sort things out." So, think this would be the route for the time being. Find that I am running round and round in circles. Really no way out other than NOT CARING. What happened to my detachment???
Journalling.. Saturday PM - Arrived in COuntry X. H came to the airport to pick us up (First time....) with the driver. We went to do some grocery shopping and had KFC for dinner. Went home, tucked boys into bed and we got into bed ourselves.
Sunday... In the AM, was sort of halfway in another session when S6 started crying and S8 banging on the bedroom door. S6 had a little accident and was bleeding... So, session interrupted. S6 is FINE and we had breakfast together. Left H in charge of the boys. Took MIL to the mall. H brought the boys over to the mall later. We had dinner together at a restaurant. H was rather distant on this night.
Monday Early morning session before H sets off to work. Didn't see him till dinner time. Had dinner prepared, then we went out shopping. Picked H up from work and head back home.Had dinner. H even washed up after dinner. Called/texted me few times throughout the day.
Tuesday Didn't see H till dinner time but as usual, called and texted a few times to see how things were, what were our plans etc etc. Had dinner out. Came home...another session before bed.
Wednesday.. Met H for lunch, and then took a flight back home later.
and all. We didn't argue at all throughout the 5 days that I was there. But this morning, felt really crap. Perhaps things were too good and I realised that it's not the truth?? That I am living in some la-la make believe land?? I don't know...
