Dear all... Thanks for checking up on me. Things have been a real roller coaster since my last posting.
Yes, was back on the DBING bandwagon for most days last week. I travelled to Thailand for work from Tues to Thurs. H did call/ text me whilst I was there. Things seems alright in the surface. I did bring up (via text message) about his December trip to Thailand with her. He replied back saying "I didn't bring her there. She was there for work and I was en-route to Copenhagen". Of course I knew it was a load of crock.... Anyway, we still had our teleconvos AS-IF nothing is wrong. One thing he said "I won't be back this weekend...might as well save the money since you guys are coming over next week blah blah blah". Low and behold... Friday comes...and still the normal text and phone calls from H. But I had a sneaky feeling that he was coming back. Called him and went to voicemail... sent him text messages which didn't get delivered. But at about 9.50 pm, all messages were delivered... Yes, this is circumstantial but it is the flight that we normally take to come back. Flight arrives at 9.30 pm. And you get to the gate around 9.50 pm... and that's when he turn on his mobile. I of course got upset.. A whole slew of text messages and phone calls ensued. Ended up shouting at each other over the phone. He said "okay, it's the end of us. I will come and tell the boys tomorrow and You wait for my letter. "... Then about half an hour later, got text messages from him...he had calmed down I guessed... - Are you ok now? - Just calm down, and all will be well tomorrow. Pls?? - Ok..now that I have calmed down..here's my plans. I'm gonna tell her soon as boys are taking it badly. So..just let me do it. Can??
Saturday... Went out brunch with girlfriend...got a few text messages from H "Am I supposed to see you today/tmrw? Since you said that you didn't want to have contact till next weekend". Me: Just let me know what time you want to come and tell the boys, and I will inform my mom to come over to help calm the boys down. Also, don't think that I will come over to Country X next week. No point after today's event. H: We are not telling the boys anyting and U are coming over next week.
I ignored his text. Later,...got a call at home. I was napping. So told him to call later as boys were upstairs and I was lazy to get them. Not long later, H called again.. told me to open to front door. Yup..he was outside of the house. And this is scary but i knew he did come back the day before...So, he did spend a night with ow. *sigh*... Anyway, we argued and did have s@x and argued some more. And again, he said "I said leave things as it is. If you can't, then just take it that it's the end, and I'll send you the papers"...blah blah blah.. Anyway, we did have dinner together with the boys. Then he went out for drinks with his ex-coworkers. Came back...we had a little chat. Argued alittle, joked a little. Somehow... I said "Knowing you? Wait for the papers? Papers will never come" to which he laughed. Next morning..somehow..don't know what happened....argued and made up again. He said "maybe the next time I come back, we'll go counselling together." to which I replied that it would difficult if there is still another person in the marriage. Anyway, had another session before I took him to the station. Did ask him again in the car ride if he knows what he wants. He said "Yes. I do. I just need time to sort it out". Had a half-hearted hug before he left. The time I took him to the station is toooo early for his flight...so, I guessed he met up with ow again. YES...@ssuming but think it is true. I am toooo smart for my own good. ANyway, I met up with some old girlfriends for tea and dinner. Did get a text from H "Am I gonna confuse you if I call you and ask how u r?
Anyway, we did have some text exchanges before I went to bed. The last text that I sent was "You don't have to reply to this text...Just want to say that I love you...". He did reply with "I do too... nite nite".
So, it has been a real roller coaster ride the last few days....and end up at the same spot. H may be still lying to her, lying to me...I don't know. I find that there is really nothing much I can do other than being patient, tolerant and continue to DBING.... I mean I don't want to be the one to present the papers, neither do I want to present my H as a gift to ow. I've tried the silent treatment with H but just can't sustain it on my part. So, the only way is to perservere with this DBING and see what happens. *sigh*... It's a long long road.
On hindsight...I should have said "Okay...let's go see a counsellor"...and let the counsellor advise him as to how to go about the right direction. Anyway, it is too late now. So, will see what happens. Really need to take one step at a time.
My current focus... * To not bring up ow again!!! * Focus on ME! * Focus on the boys! * Focus on US! * Act AS-IF Will be spending about 5 days in Country X. So hopefully, will AVOID making a mess of our sitch.
before I took him to the station. Did ask him again in the car ride if he knows what he wants. He said "Yes. I do. I just need time to sort it out". Had a half-hearted hug before he left. The time I took him to the station is toooo early for his flight...so, I guessed he met up with ow again. 
