Bow/Hellkat/ Kismet - Thanks for your words of encouragement...
I will post more but have only a couple of minutes before I run off to a meeting. Boys made me soooo mad yesterday night that I broke down, cried, screamed and blurted out "you daddy and I may be getting a divorce!". Boys were angry at first...Once I blurted out, I was like "oh [censored]! what have I done". I explained to them that "daddy and mommy are having some adult problems that we are trying very very hard to solve.If we can solve them, we may have to move to country x. If we can't, mommy and daddy may separate, and may divorce. It's not your fault. It's just adults have their problems...and we are trying very very hard to solve them. We both love you very very much." They had a lot of questions which I answered as truly as I could. They understood and calmed down. I did text H to tell him what I have done. He texted back. H: I respect you for telling them..but u didn't have to . we will solve our problems. I'll call them tomorrow. About half and hour later, he called me back and sounded calm. H: How come you told the boys? Me: They were really driving me sooo crazy that I just blurted out. H: I thought after telling the boys, it would be easier. But it is not. I feel worse. Me: WHy would you? I've already done the difficult part for you. Can't really remember what else..but didn't really want to talk. So ended the call.
This morning (Friday)...H did call to "just" talk to S8.
So, am still plodding along in my confused state. Or maybe not so confused...just laying low. I just can't think straight at this moment. On one hand, I am hoping and thinking that we will turn round and be a good H and father...but on the other hand, all the facts of him not able to give ow up is staring right up at my face!!! I am a very rational and logical person...and I look at all the evidence...really doesn't look positive... Can't think...
