Kismet/KDU - Thanks for checking on me. Will drop by into your threads in a while.
Journalling.. H told me (over the phone) on Sunday, 5th Feb that he had told ow a couple of days back about him feeling bad about leaving the boys and wanting to go back to the family.Blah blah blah. Said that ow understood.
Monday (6th) - H and I had a very very long phone discussion (about 1 1/4 hours) about us, our R, ow etc. (Btw, this was after our phone s@x session ???!!!???) He started off with "I know you don't want to hear this as you said that you are not my friend. But I need to talk to you as I have no one to talk to". I was very composed that night. Spoke to him like a friend. Gave some insights as a "third person" looking from the outside (with a bit of biase of course...) Eventually, some emotions did creep out of me towards the end of our convo. Loads of info came out of H about him lying to ow as well, about her joining him in London, and even promised to marry her end of this year!!!! At one point, H even said "she is in a worse position than you. For you, you've expected the worse. But for her, all this while, she thought things were hanky-dory and out of the blue, I spring this on her. See, I've lied to her more than I've lied to you". I know..he is an @ss!!! A whole load of stuff came out of H that night, like he felt that he would be happier with her blah blah blah. I could take this in a very negative way, but I guessed it could be positive that he is sharing his feelings with me?
Anyway, the next couple of days were spent him either texting or telling me that he is feeling sh!tty. Then on Friday, I get a text from him to ask me to go do the brazilian!!??!!
Anyway, H came back on Saturday (11th). As usual, picked him up from the hotel. Had a couple of drinks at the hotel bar. Flirted. Had a bit of fun in the car park ??!!?? Then went home. H said his hellos and kisses to the boys...and we were on to our business... Made dinner (having my MIL over for dinner), and then was gonna let H take the boys to their badminton coaching session on his own. But H insisted that I go along. So, I did. He was quite involved, played individually with both boys, and even the coach!!! Went home, and had dinner. H didn't really talk to my MIL. Supposed to have a poker game later that night. So, as he was sorting out the cards, I asked him "so how is it now?" H: ending soon Me: With her or with me? H: with her obviously...since I have not presented you with papers. Didn't pursue further. Later, he decided to cancel the poker game, and we spent quite some time talking in bed...at one point, he said "Did I tell you that she is a xyz?" Me: huh? Who? H: She .. Me: Huh? (Was actually very engrossed in my Sudoku ..he he he) H: ow. Me: Oh...am I supposed to go "WOW??" H: NO. Just telling you. Isnt' it good that I am sharing stuff with you?
Next morning, nothing much. Did the usual . Then, Went out breakfast with the boys and returned home. H played games with the boys, and then lounged about. We were talking again and at one point, I asked Me: So...you haven't answered me. What is your type of woman? ow type? H: Like you! Just that I kinda deviated towards ow-type and needs to find the path back. Blah blah blah (said this in a joking way)
H: Figured that ending with her would be easier than going out to find a lawyer etc etc. Me: well, you could ask ow to do it for you. H: How? I was supposed to be separated from you months ago. Me: what...separated as with all paperwork done? H: Didn't go into that detail.
Another thing is said.. H: ow is very meticulous...plans every single detail in a spreadsheet format, even for leisure travel. Let me send you the spreadsheet. Me: What for? I am not going to be like her. H: I send it to you...maybe some time down the road, we can look back on this and laugh about it. M: So, you think she had all her wedding guest list planned?? H: (Think he just laughed at this!!) Along the topic of him travelling with ow to places etc etc, H did comment "if things go well, we will take a long holiday together " (yes...yes, the IF comes in again) Oh..one thing he said about ow "maybe newness is wearing off..."
Anyway, he left just after noon.
This morning, H did make the first contact. Texted me about something trivial...and then at work, he did IM me. Wished me "Happy Valentines". Again, saying things that "he needs to sort things out". I commented that his sorting out is like a tortoise, no like a snail...and he commented "It is better than nothing, right?" . I guessed he is right there.
Some positives...but still hard to say. Will have to see how it goes. He will be back again next week for S5's birthday party...S5 turning 6!!!
Observed Positives - Much more involved with the boys - More affectionate (hugs in the night...and a kiss when he left) - Verbalize more about ow (a positive ??? don't know yet...)
???!!!???) He started off with "I know you don't want to hear this as you said that you are not my friend. But I need to talk to you as I have no one to talk to". I was very composed that night. Spoke to him like a friend. Gave some insights as a "third person" looking from the outside 
(with a bit of biase of course...) Eventually, some emotions did creep out of me towards the end of our convo. Loads of info came out of H about him lying to ow as well, about her joining him in London, and even promised to marry her end of this year!!!! At one point, H even said "she is in a worse position than you. For you, you've expected the worse. But for her, all this while, she thought things were hanky-dory and out of the blue, I spring this on her. See, I've lied to her more than I've lied to you". I know..he is an @ss!!! A whole load of stuff came out of H that night, like he felt that he would be happier with her blah blah blah. I could take this in a very negative way, but I guessed it could be positive that he is sharing his feelings with me? 
