Quote: Nah Frank, you are looking at it wrong. She is confused by all that is happening, but as long as FRANK continues to do what he has been doing, she will poke her head out again. She may go back "into the tunnel" a few more times before she comes out for good, it is all just part of the process. Has to be hard to realize you are in love wtih what was in front of you all along and I'm sure that part of her feels like she has to "save face" because she went and told everyone about OM and how yu guys are over, now she would have to explain to everyone how you managed to work it out. That isn't easy to do. Let her process it and continue what you were doing, she will come back. I'd bet on it .
What are you willing to bet?
Ok Becca, I am willing to agree with you for the most part. I keep trying to think back to times when I 'went back' to an old girlfriend after a bad relationship, which is the closest thing I can compare this to.
I know the one thing that was very different was that I did NOT spend any time flirting or really any quality time. Mostly I whined to her about the lost relationship.
I KNEW I didn't want her back, I just wanted a shoulder to cry on.
The most difficult thing to reconcile in my mind is this: WHAT IF OM had not turned out to be a loser? I mean, she is willing to leave me comepletely for ANYONE she perceives as 'better'. Not a very hopeful situation to be in. She didn't just 'have an affair' she demanded a divorce, even though she hadn't even started a relationship withh OM yet, she was still pursuing him. That's pretty serious and it's difficult for me to think she would 'come back' after making a decision like that. But then the things she had been doing the past week or so have been totally unexpected.
Last nite I stayed in my own room while she watched TV alone. I just got the sense that was the right thing to do, stay out of her space.
She seemed in a similar place this morning, depressed and has the blahs. I jokingly told her I wasn't going to 'drag her out on a hike' to get her out of the blahs like I did last week, and she said that was a 'good thing' because she didn't want to go.
I offered her a hug and she thanked me but said no.
So, rather than stay around, I decided to leave for my office early. When I left I took a chance and said goodbye to her as she was sitting watching TV, and kissed her on the forehead. Seemed innocent enough and I maintained a positive and 'up' attitude.
I kind of wish I knew what happended over the weekend with her over protective, idiot friend. I am willing to bet W talked about how she feels dependent on me because of her business and other stuff and GF told her how awful, nasty, bad that would be since I am just going to always be the same, and never change... Clown.
But then, most guys who are my age (47) or her age (37) and are single, are either divorced or weird. As evidenced by OM's behavior.
Well, she smiled a few times today. That's a start. Hope she has a better day today.
