When she came home last nite from her friends house after going there Saturday she was kind of cold / detached but still friendly. I think I came off as expectng her to see me and want a hug or something. She also seemed kind of angry about something. Later I did walk up to her and give her a hug, and she hugged back. That's it though. No initiation of anything by her the rest of the nite.
This morning she barely talked to me. She was pleasant but nothing like she was a couple days ago.
She made mention of thinking of ways to 'fill her own cup' while she was gone yesterday, and that she did just that but didn't want to elaborate on 'how'.
So while that's a good thing for her, I think it is also a way for her to also look at our 'relationship' and decide that it's still based too much on her being dependant and needy. That might explain her sudden change to 'distancing'. I know that when she left Saturday afternoon I was tired and a little in need of some affection and it probably came across that way. And when she got back I misssed her and wanted her to show me she missed me. Another error.
That, and of course the time she spends with this Girlfriend would never benefit ME since she would prefer that W find her 'true love' now that she almost 'found him'. She's in her late 30's, single, unattractive and has no experience with relationships. Not exactly a 'wise counsel' for her.
I guess this is a 'down' in the roller coaster ride. Kind of sucks because I was (foolishly) getting into the 'high'. Now it's time to be a rock and detached again.
This of course raises my anxiety levels and fears since as I was getting 'some' attention every day a 180 like this looks like a permanent move AWAY from me. Especially after her telling me it was 'ok for me to initiate things' with her on Thursday.
Yes, I am probably being neurotic. She probably got scared she was becoming dependent on me again and is going the opposite way to prove she can be 'her own woman'. I hope this isn't a trend.
