Frank, that's crap and you know it. If she were the kind of person who could "practice" with you and after all that "practice", i.e. loving expression, just move on, then she's not the woman you want. This exercise your C has got her doing should either bring her back to you, or move you away from her, either of which would be good in the grand scheme of things.
Since I know our Counselor is extrememly intuitive, I am inclined to agree with you. She has set this up to make a new relationship with us 'possible'. Either I'll get tired of the game, or she'll find out she's having real feelings for me and things will change.
Quote: AmyC:
I have a weird feeling here Frank.
Kind of like you're a guinea pig and that's very disrespectful. Keep your eyes open. If she gets away with too much.....well, just don't be so accomodating that she no longer respects you.
Something has the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
And I agree with you Amy. I have done NOTHING to change my behavior since she talked to me last nite. I feel it is still important for me to command respect like I have been doing. In some ways I think W DOESN'T want me to change my behavior and start initiating things because it would make her feel that I have become NEEDY again. I think this is another 'test'.
I'm going to stick with what my counselor told me last time: FOr every 9 times she reaches out to me with a hug, kiss, whatever, I can reach out to her (initiate a hug, kiss, whatever). As long as I am the one who is restrained she is still pursuing ME.
Grasshopper's right still, I can "set the filter aside every once in awhile and get the full experience."
And in the past 20 years, she has never been a woman who could just 'use' someone. I truly believe she wants to love me but is scared it would be a big mistake. All these 'accomadations' that she's making because Counselor says they are 'ok' to do are really ways for her to 'try out' a relationship with me but have an escape hatch if she needs it.
Remember, we had a long time where our marriage hurt her a lot. She's gun shy. I'm cautious. And so it goes...
