Quote: I was wondering, could you remind me exactly what has been done to get this "divorce" moving forward?
Other than saying "we're getting divorced", what steps have been taken?
This answer in and of itself will tell you all you need to know...
She bought a book on divorce and said she was 'ready' to move forward last couples counseling. C talked her out of doing anything right now. She probably not even read the book yet.
And as Grasshopper (and my counselor sort of said) she uses D as a 'get out of jail free' card.
I was a bit thrown by her comment on 'choosing men poorly for relationships' because it implied she needed to make MORE attempts at being with other men. But it could also mean she thinks that I could be a poor choice and she doesn't trust herself to make the choice. Perhaps that is why she spends so much of this 'special time' with me - to try it out.
I do everything I can to not show my feeelings. I am a rock, standing tall and being a mystery, which she even said to me 'you sure are a mystery to me' while I was comforting her in her bed last nite.
And Shark, I do my best to set it up so she comes to me, I don't pursue her in any way. And boy is it difficult!
Today she asked me if I 'have always wanted her to work'. I wasn't sure what she meant, so I said 'I have always wanted you to be happy, to feel like your life is fulfilled. I never needed you to work for the money but for the satifaction of knowing you could build something'.
She said 'well, I always had some kind of work I was doing' and I replied that was true, but I have seen you grow from 'a massage therapist' to various, more advanced techiques and modalities. You master one and then learn something new.
Anyway, I was honest and told her that I only wanted her to achieve her goals and do what makes her happy the past few years.
Not sure what she was fishing for. Hopefully she will 'get it' and realize that it hasn't been ME who has set limits on her life. It's HER.
