Grasshopper, you're right. I want her to be 'in love' and say so but it's all about 're-attracting her'. What hurts or pisses me off the most is that she could meet some jerk in Hawaii and be 'totally in love' in a matter of hours, yet I've been with her for 20 years and she still thinks she can't be in love with me but it's OK to 'play house'.
It doesn't seem fair. I'm the one who did the work and of course I'm impatient, and there is still no commitment to even TRY to work on the marriage, she still talks 'as if' we are getting divorced.
Becca, your explanation is very clear. Even though there is no VERBAL commitment she is working on 'something' with me.
I hope that day she gets out of that pull out bed and says "Wow I have such a great marriage, why would I ever want to get out of it" comes sooner rather than later. I still live with the 'threat' of divorce over my head, yet I get the 'affection' of a live in girlfriend. This game is hard to play sometimes.
Part of this is that I look at her words of 'divorce' and think that she's comfortable with me until someone better comes along. Not very encouraging.
But, you're right. The more time we spend together, the more she will become 'attached' to me and less attached to being 'single'.
