Quote: However, I'd advise caution - my stuff of the past couple days is my reason for suggesting it. I think you have the right idea to make her work for it a little bit - she's engaging and that is a good thing - but she is not to the point of a re-commit, right? Just advising to spare your heart man.
Your holding the cards Frank and that is a great thing. Be patient.
Yeah, I know what you mean about 'spare your heart'. She's not at the point of a recommit. I do need to spare my heart.
I'm not sure what you mean by I am 'holding all the cards'?
Anyway, thanks for the feedback. Not feeling real 'up' right now. Not negative but not up either.
W's mom and gramma visited today and W was completely detached from me once they arrived. During the day she was a little flirty, but a lot less than before. When they got here she was very nice but even when we were alone she didn't flirt or anything.
Her mom gave me a hug and a kiss which suprised the heck out of me. It was a very nice visit, you wouldn't know we weren't the best of friends and nothing was wrong. We went to the play and had a decent time together.
Afterwards we went home and had some dessert. D15 was tired and pissed about pretty much anything I said to her. D10 misbehaving, to get attention. I had to be 'heavy Dad' which is a role that W always opposes, she acts as if I am TOO strict, but I am not, I just expect kids to be respectful of adults. Anyway she told me later she thought I was 'overbearing' but it didn't turn into a fight.
W was tired and had cramps (it's that time now) so she went to bed. Didn't reach out to me in any way. It always amazes me how she can go hot and cold so easily.
I can feel myself coming down off the high of last weekend, and the past weeks events. As I evaluate the day and evening, I still don't understand why the flirting, the 'comforting' and the occasional closeness? Why the 'show' for her mom? To prove she is so cool she can have a divorce and be friends with me?
What is her point?
Today all I see is that she has got what she wants. She can have intimacy of any level with me and not have to make a commitment to the marriage. That's what it seems like.
I kind of agree with Becca, she is laying a foundation that will make her miss me when or if she moves on divorce path. But there's another side too. She could be just using me to be comfortable, till someone else comes along. I just don't know.
It did kind of hurt being kept at a distance today after the 'attention' I've been getting. At least it was nice to be treated well by her Mom and Grandma. They like me a lot and I think they believe she is making a mistake.
I'm surprised this is bothering me so much. I so wanted to not feel anything for her, but I just can't do it. One thing I have been doing today is to make some deposits in her 'love bank'. I gave her some very genuine complements and other stuff that I KNOW she appreciated. That's the weird part, she loves the complements and is very appreciative but later will act as if we're 'roommates'.
I think I need to back off too. She's taking me for granted and I'm just not sure if she wants to love me or is just getting some basic emotional needs met by playing this game. Any Ideas?
