Quote: I need to come back and visit your sitch. Like I said some time ago - the correlations in our sitches are way to frightening to mention.
I looked at your thread and in some ways they are very similar. Rather than me tell you what to do, I'll post what I've been doing and perhaps you will get something out of it.
so....
Today has been REAL weird. Saw Counselor this afternoon and talked about my weekend, and told her about the 'encounter' with W the other day. She said W is re-framing her view of me because, as she put it, she basically threw away a relationship with me that she thought was always going to suck so she could have a relationship with someone she thought was her 'soul mate' and 'true love'. When she pushed him to support her when she needed to work on her own issues he apparently bailed on her.
So, now she doesn't have her 'knight' any more, and she thinks she doesn't have ME any more since I told her a couple weeks ago quite clearly that I don't NEED her and I will be fine without her.
Her statement that "Your life would be meaningless without me" was really a question. And my answer was correct. It wouldn't be meaningless. But it would be sadder.
C says she is trying to figure out how I fit into her life now. Anyway, C sais all my responses are brilliant and it's obvious they are coming from my place of integrity. And W must see that.
But, C said this to me and I think this is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: Do not go to her, do not hug her, kiss her or INITIATE any kind of intimacy with her. Let HER do all the initiating. Let HER make every move. SHE has to pursue YOU.
If she asks you why you are 'backing off' tell her that you are respecting her boundaries and that when she want's to share intimacy with you that you are willing to but you won't initiate anything, and that when she does choose to enter your sacred space (or whatever works for you) that you will love, honor, respect and cherish her.
Or, to put it simply, she gets to choose WHEN but I get to choose HOW.
Anyway, there's more but I want to mention the events this afternoon.
W has been quite the tease. Making remarks and naughty facial expressions. Getting very close and in my face. Been pretty bad actually and I told her a few times that she was 'affecting my concentration'.
She asked me to fix the broken brake lights on her car, said she'd do a favor for me if I would because she didn't want to take it to a shop and pay lots.
When she was telling me this, she was very close and I said to her 'You can kiss me now'. She paused and said 'no, I can't but I was thinking about it'.
I left to get the parts and fixed the lights. When I went into the garage to put stuff away she came up to me and stood in front of me and said "I can kiss you now" and really laid one on me (actually 3-4 slow ones). On the 4th one I stepped back and said 'That's all you get for now' and smiled, then walked away.
The teasing continued while I was making dinner tonite and up until she left to go do some massages at her office.
Sooooo, I thought I would see what buttons I could push and I made a valentines card on the computer that said "You've been thinking naughty thoughts all day...If you're good you'll get what you want, if you're naughty you'll get what you like! Look under the pillow and pick 5 pages from the book that's there"
I left it on her pillow of her bed. Under the pillow is a pink silk nightie and a book of Kama Sutra 'positions'.
