Re GeekSpeak My moonlighting job has picked up quite a bit which helps to pay the bills, but constantly puts me on the mat as to whether I am going to spend family time or get my work done. Geek, this is one thing that eventually lead to less and less sex between BB and me.
Well, I'm wrong. That's not it at all. After a 30 minute discussion she finally tells me that I have not spent any time with her this week. She cannot have sex without feeling an emotional bond to me. Same story here Geek, different woman, different date.
The problem is that I end up post-poning everything in my life and hanging out with her for two weeks (shopping, digging up rocks, whatever...) the whole while being paranoid about whether I am the cool loving guy she would want to have sex with. And then bamm... two weeks go by... no sex, I'm stressed over all the stuff I haven't gotten done... I feel like your twin sometimes.
maybe I should find someone who would be interested in at least looking at the list and saying "well, I could do that and that I wish that would happen too. But I am still trying to fix me and the R.
Suggestions. Spend less money and do less after hrs work. That is what I would have changed about my old life.
Would it have helped? I don't know. I do know I don't have much to show for all of those extra hours I worked. The more money I made, the more I/she spent.
I have a friend that did what I am suggesting and his relationship with his w and family are better than mine. Was it a difference in time/money or a difference in the people involved? I don't know how much time/money played but if I had a "re-set on life button" I would push it and play the next round working less and doing with-out some things. FWIW.
2. the kids grow up, I retire, we can't stand being around each other = divorce
3. the kids grow up, I retire, my sex drive drops, we enjoy being around each other. 4. the kids grow up, I retire, we spend time together and her sex drive increases, we enjoy being around each other.
5. the kids grow up, I retire, we spend time together and my sex drive drops, her sex drive increases, we cant stand being around each other.
6. Something else happens and it is all a mystery. This is what happens the most.
At any time in our discussions if it becomes heated she will tell me to pack my bags almost the same thing here Geek. I said she could leave anytime. The next day ot two I had a unclothed woman in my bed at 6 AM. It was BB.
She even went so far as to says "you know how you want to feel like I understand your needs and when you feel they are neglected you want me to respond and work on it with you and make you feel like we are a team working on it together...well, that's how I feel about time with you..." Way to go Geek.
About that bi-polar thing. How about a change to celf centered when she feels neglected ( a lot of the time). I think that is what is happening in my R with BB.
I just wanted to let you know how it feels after 38 years of marriage and help you before you make some of the mistakes I made or to help you see what some R look like like down the road.
Most of what you posted is similar to my situation.
