yes, I understand what you are saying that is why I put the words "vent vent vent" in my post. I understand that I am in a very negative frame of mind.
The thing is - I feel she is a hypocrite a lot of the time. She can berate me for not being sensitive to HER needs. Yet, months ago when we last spoke about sex she said "I am not interested in reading any book about sex (SSM)" and "This is the way I am and I'm not going to change... take it or leave it" - "Why can't you just accept me for the way I am?"
Then, she calmed down and said things like "if we get to the right place I can see us having sex once a week" AND "you know, we should talk about sex... maybe we can start with email conversations and go from there"
Well, you want to know what happened? 24 hours later she emailed me and said "you know, I was wrong... there's no way I could ever have sex once a week so don't get your hopes up... I really think once every two weeks would be pushing it" - and I emailed her three times with simple "how bout an email about sex communication" and they all went unanswered so I gave up.
When HER needs are not being met the whole house knows about it and we better jump. I get the riot act every time I don't tend to her needs because I'm insensite...
YET, when it is MY needs... I'm needy, pushy, demanding, etc. even though I practically do nothing to threaten her (I don't think initiating once every two weeks should be a threat... no groping, no lewd talk... geez.
I just get in these negative frames of mind where I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman who met or challenged my sex drive. I know it's not helpful, but I can't help it.
