Thank you for all of your advice. I did speak with a MC and my insurance and I have been able to get us in together and have them code it as "family therapy", which my insurance does cover. It is such a relief. Now just to get my H there!

I will check in to Retrouvaille, I have read up on it a little bit, but will check it out more.

Since H is so uncomfortable with sharing his thougths with a stranger, I really think the book ideas is a great idea. I have heard a few people mention the Love Languages book. Any good suggestions?

We talked a little last night, I was pretty excited when I found a MC that would work with us and the insurance. But H said he didn't want to go and that we should give it one more go on our own. This is the fourth time he's said that.

I don't want to hurt him by saying, we have to fix this now, or else there isn't going to be anything to fix. But at the same time, he is hurting me by not trying.
He says that the sterotype is true that guys just don't have deep feelings about this kind of stuff.(after I asked him what it was he felt I could do to make our situation better for him). But I know that is crap, because I hear the pain of the HDM on this board and know they miss the EC in their R. So, I responded to him and said, "Well, there is a sterotype that all men want is sex and my husband doesn't want sex." He responded with, I like sex, I just don't have the need to do it. ???

Okay, so my next question is...what have any of you done, that's been successful, to encourage your spouse to WANT it more??

Thank,
Nicky

"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'" Frederick Collins