Opti – you just let me know when on the horse therapy. I’ve got a ton of time to burn as well, and just hired someone part time to start here next week, so it will be easier to get that time off !!! (but yuck, training…) I can load up and head your direction, lot’s of cool places to ride ‘wayupnortdar’, we can meet in the middle, or you can head down by me, whatever works best for you, and I’ll make it work too! Cool! I am excited!! You weren’t joking were you? You want an English or Western saddle? That big Appendix gelding makes an English saddle look like a spec from a fly. Also, www.midwesthorsefair.com is in April, it’s a fantastic 3 day event featuring anything and everything you can think of to do with horses. I’ll be there too, but we wouldn’t have time to ride there.

Alright, on to not so fun stuff….. I admit, I let H get to me, again. Along with that, my statement to him was long overdue, and I am glad I told him. I didn’t raise my voice, I just stated the obvious facts. His lack of response to what I say or do, and how I feel I don’t think is a defense mechanism. I’m just seeing it black and white and taking out the rosy picture. I’ve done that for too long already. Just face it, WCW, the facts. Is there a touch of he’s ‘too scared of me to talk to me’? Maybe, but I don’t know, and I perceive it as no concern rather than scared. Until I see something different, I gotta go with how I feel it.

Funny, your comment “when I post something” and his response to it, doesn’t it just seem like he’s reading along here? Gut feeling again.

Acceptable and respectful behavior, it’s a fine line between making a demand and setting a limit. I’m not into demands or ultimatums, but there does need to be some limits as to what I will continue to tolerate. I won’t just lay on the floor anymore covering up dirt in this marriage. Yesterday, my shoulders started coming back up just a bit, the sag and slouch was leaving, I felt better because I SAID something to H about my opinion of how I see things. And that’s not bad.

Time for resolution, what made me get here? - my attitude, moving me and my happiness up the scale of what is most important in my life. Feeling strong enough to think about accepting the circumstances. Being at this for so long that I’ve been getting pieces in place to move on without H in my life. An honest statement here – I will go thru a ton of hurt and pain if or when this all comes crashing down to a horrific end, I know that, but I also know the acute pain I will endure will not last for the rest of my life like it will in this R&M if I do nothing at all. Also notice, these statements are all very tentative in nature. I’m not all done, I’m just looking at it from nothing has worked for so long, I need to get a new perch to view it from. Here’s a thought, I’m not piecing our marriage back together – I am Piecing My Life Back Together. Where’s that forum?

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.