Quote: what I figure is that he has no emotion either way. He doesn't care enough that it matters to him what I do or how I feel. I think he's just hanging out until he can tell that I am shut down enough that it won't be quite so painful for me, which would somehow make it less painful for him.
Of course, I don't know what your interactions with H really are, objectively. I only understand the situation from your posts. But, based on your previous posts, I'd say your above quote is just out of anger-a defense mechanism. That's the kind of thing we all say when we are frustrated and tired and hurt. "He just doesn't give a sh!t either way." But, you know that he does care, at least to some extent.
It just seems to me, from your posts, that when you put your best efforts forward to be patient, open, caring, regardless of how he treats you, he acts coldly. But, when you post that you let yourself slip and make these comments that you think you shouldn't, you also post that he reacts by showing you more caring (coming home early, bringing you a cookie, carpooling, etc.)
Sooo, if I was to apply DB principles based only on your posts, I'd say "do what works." And if that is letting your anger show or whatever you are doing presently, then maybe that's what works. But, again, no one can understand your sitch the way you do.
The slightly less enthusiastic DBer in me says, I am glad by golly that you are getting to the point where your main goal is not to get H back, period. It is begining to be to get resolution to your situation, whatever that might be. So, when that is really your goal, I say go for it!
Horse therapy sounds so good right now. You know I have 8 hours of vacation time I have to use by May 1...
