Maybe I don't get the question, but what I figure is that he has no emotion either way. He doesn't care enough that it matters to him what I do or how I feel. I think he's just hanging out until he can tell that I am shut down enough that it won't be quite so painful for me, which would somehow make it less painful for him. But then tonight he shows up earlier than I expected at home, ended up waiting for me to be ready to leave together, brings me a cookie from the snack table - well, after he saw that another guy had already brought me french fries and chocolate (sigh), and was generally his kind self for the evening. Yes, tomorrow is another new day. A Thursday. What will Thursday evening be like? ugh.
Do unto others...... what will that get me? revenge? I might feel better for the moment, but not for the long haul.
Virginia, I am sorry we are in the same boat. But you still love your H. That's different. Akiwi asked how saying what I said helped me get closer to my goal. My goals have changed over the last months,year.....I always wanted to reconcile with H, be a success story, have a long wonderful lovely life with him. If that is still an option, I'll work on it, but he's gonna have to kick his butt in gear here PDQ. My current goal - resolution. Something has to change, this isn't how I want to live my life.
More sleep would be good.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
